Healing – A Reminder, Guidance or a Lesson
Sharing a story of my own, in hopes others resonate and can gain some benefit from my recent realization.
In pealing the many layers of me, I discovered yet another emotion and set out to process and heal this one as I have so many others over the past many years on this journey. Turns out, as I shined a light and began the process, I realized that this one, was just the surface of a much deeper lesson from my past. I had allowed someone, who claimed to love me, to constantly belittle me, tell me I wasn’t good enough, criticize every action I made, call me names and well, you get the idea. I never talked or fought back because of a list of reasons including, I never liked conflict.
This week, the unfolding of clarity and understanding of so many ‘whys’ in my life rolled out before me. After hearing the countless words and messages back then, I’ve discovered that I had quickly embodied them. I now understand, all those messages and words I heard over and over, I allowed to become a part of my subconscious, my cellular structure, my DNA. My body at the time, not being able to process how I was being treated, quickly reflected through the emotional and mental imbalances in my physical world by refusing to digest (process) food and this manifested into digestive issues in my physical world that would last over the next 25 years.
A year ago this month, I sold the home where I endured that abuse from my ex-husband, endured the endless surgeries that unfolded from the digestive issues that almost cost me my life – twice, and lived with the energy of those memories lying just beneath the surface of my awareness.
As this week unfolded and I realized the words he spoke and I allowed to become a part of me (which I own as my responsibility), were still a vibration, playing out in my everyday world, even if very subtly. I was allowing it because I never truly grasped the very real and powerful impact those words had on me. Even though, I had forgiven him and worked on myself and the many emotions and limiting beliefs related to so much of this; I still was unaware of the iceberg that still laid just beneath the surface, but now I do.
Hiking through nature, where so much of my healing takes place, I came yet across another snake. While I’ve interpreted the countless snakes, I’ve seen this summer as transformation; I was sad to see this one was dead. I instinctively interpreted that I had somehow failed in the process of transformation; however, a spirit guide appeared at my side, looking at the snake with me and said softly; “Death is a sign of completion. This is simply your message, dear one, a cycle is complete.” And then, he was gone.
Smiling at the gift of his presence and his message; I finally truly understood and had clarity after all these years: the impact someone else’s words had on my confidence, my self-image and of course, all my digestive issues. I finally had the answer to the question I had asked for over 25 years, why me? Last night as I reflected on the day and the week, I realized, it was three months ago this week, my ex had died. After hearing the news and the few details surrounding his death and allowing the memories of the past to come to the surface, I honor my soul for having the strength to experience and learn this powerful lesson that has more than likely played out in many previous timelines and lifetimes.
I share this message, with the hope that if anyone has ever told you, that you are not pure love and light; know the words are not true. We are beautiful, we are love and we are Light. We often embody words, beliefs and comments from others into our vibration and allow them to become a part of us. Ironically, this is what I’ve been helping my clients with for over three years now. And while I’ve pealed back many layers of my own and helped others with theirs; there are always ways to grow and understand ourselves and the world around us a little more.
I invite you to dive into the emotions that come up, dive into your limiting beliefs, dive into the feelings that hurt, dive into your soul to learn the meaning behind the messages your body is sending, your emotions are sending and ask the difficult questions we often don’t want to ask. Live in the vibration of discovery and live in the vibration of sharing and shining YOUR light, wherever you possibly can, as I guarantee you, I most certainly will.
I am excited to meet all the souls that I am meant to cross paths with in this lifetime, to help them on their journey as I now understand and interpret the energy and the messages that flow so freely to me. While I’ve often not honored this skill that I have, the story above explains why that was. But that layer is gone, so I know walking forward, the light that shines within me and the messages and energy that flow for myself and my friends and clients, will shine so much brighter now with that layer of darkness transmuted to light.
Share with a group, a friend, a soul, who may need to hear this today.
Until next time, Namaste